Debi Haden

From the blog

It’s all about the perspective!

In September I celebrated my birthday, which I normally enjoy with relish, however this one didn’t feel quite so positive, I spent time reflecting on waking that morning on how I didn’t think I had achieved my goals for the last year, something I set myself each year on my birthday, life goals and experiences which I intend to work on over the next year and then review again on my birthday.  I felt sad, I felt like I had stood still, both feelings that don’t sit comfortably with me, because I am someone who is always working towards something!

My world has become smaller since my father passed away 2 years ago and my mum who has Vascular Dementia came to live with us. My life previously had been full of adventures, exotic travel, social engagements and being constantly on the go, my days were filled with positive challenges and there was very little time for sitting still.

I sat with my sadness through the day, and in true coach style I reflected on my initial thoughts and feelings on waking…

Yes, when I reflected I knew that my year had not involved lots of travel overseas for work or pleasure, nor had it been full of exciting social engagements, but what there was no evidence of was that I has sat still and achieved nothing, it was just that it was a different type of ‘doing’ which it had been easy to forget. I had forgotten that I had project managed the modelling of our new kitchen, utility extension and heating system, that I had recruited new carers for mum and managed her care and wellbeing package, that I had developed my business and in doing so had supported and helped many people with achieving their life goals. I had forgotten my time spent supporting victims of the Grenfell Tower disaster.

I had forgotten the time spent in Germany with good friends last Christmas, the snatched one night respites away with my hubby and friends, my goddaughter going off to university, the wonderful warm evenings spent in the garden during the summer, the lunch dates with friends, cooking together with my husband, tea and cake out with my mum, and those evenings snuggled up with my cats, reading a good book.

It can be so easy when we find ourselves in a period of change, crisis, or feeling stuck to forget the distance we have travelled to get how far we have come.  I often tell my clients when they commence their development journey to write down the changes that occur because it will be easy to forget where you started and just how far you have come.

As I worked my way through those feelings on my birthday I realised that my world had not got smaller, it had merely changed its focus!

We will all go through changes and challenges throughout our life, and it is how we choose to perceive them that defines how we see the experiences.  We can choose to resist them or we can let ourselves roll with the changes and see where they take us, you never know, you might just find yourself learning so much more about yourself as I have.

I’ve learnt to enjoy every spare moment I get, and really appreciate even the smallest things in life, that at one time had maybe seen so insignificant.

So today why not take a moment to ponder on your achievements, but maybe just dig a little deeper to truly see ALL your achievements. With a different perspective, you might just see you’ve achieved more than you realised…