Debi Haden

From the blog

7 top tips for achieving success in 2019

Achieve success for 2019
Create your intention & find your solutions

We are now approaching the end of January already, where did that time go!
Did you make any new year resolutions, if so, are you still on track?

There is a long-held tradition of making new year resolutions, with about half of us still making them today! I’m going to be honest here, I’m not someone who makes New Year resolutions in the traditional sense in January, it’s not a month that generally motivates me for change. January for me is a reflection and planning month, a time where I like to reflect on how I want my year to look and what I will need to think about to make those things happen. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against the concept of making New Year resolutions, however after years of setting them for myself and watching others do it and failing miserably, I think I now have created an approach to goal setting that works for me and my clients, whatever time of year you start.  One which almost guarantees success!

Step 1 – find ‘your’ time
As I said I see January as my reflection and planning month, for me March/April and again in September are months where I tend to find my motivation for creating goals and making changes.  For all of us this will be different and as well as being affected by the months, seasons and weather you will be affected by what is going on in your life.  If you are trying to cope with a lot of personal challenges it might not be the best time to set yourself a reaching or stretching goal.  It’s important to think about how best to use to use your energy and motivation to your greater good for success.    

Step 2 – Set your intention for the year ahead
Before you even get to setting any goals, it can be helpful to think about what you would like your focus to be for the year ahead. This might come about through reflecting on the past year, what you want more or less of for the year ahead.  For instance, on looking at my 2018 I was aware that I hadn’t put enough fun, relaxation and new experiences into my diary, all things important for my personal wellbeing, therefore the intension I’ve set for this year is to plan in more social activities, opportunities to support my self care and to plan to do some new activites.   

Step 3 – Identify those things you want to change
It is helpful to brainstorm what it is you really do want to change, and then look at your ‘why’.  Often when we look at our why it can be quite revealing. One of the things that a lot of people come up with as a New Year resolution is to lose weight, but our ‘why’ may be very different.  For one person it may be to feel more confident, another to address a related health issue.  Someone may be driven to lose weight to find a new relationship or career, or the driver might be to fit in a smaller size in our clothes. So…as you can see just by saying we want to lose weight won’t always give us the motivation we need to achieve our goal. For example, if your ‘why’ is to fit into a smaller clothes size then this will be more important to you and the actions you take will be closer aligned to the ‘why’ than just by setting yourself pounds to shed. If we can truly understand our ‘why’ then we can create goals that we are likely to achieve.     

 Step 4 – Creating your ‘Solutions’
Now here comes the really clever stuff! Many of my clients benefit from this simple change to their thinking. “Consider why people make resolutions. It is usually because there is some aspect of their life that they want to change for the better. Then, instead of focusing on the great benefits that they will achieve, they focus on what they are giving up and so, of course, they fail.” The key lies in that word ‘resolution’. When we make promises to ourselves, we should drop the ‘re’ bit of the word and concentrate on the ‘solution’. “In this life, you attract whatever it is that you think about the most. If you think about negative words like giving up, stopping, doing less or changing something that you have enjoyed for years, then it is inevitable that your subconscious will rebel to ensure that this does not happen.” Instead of thinking about resolutions, think about ‘solutions.’
Think about how you will look, feel and sound when you have found the ‘solution’. Instead of thinking about what you may be giving up, think about what you will gain. Another way of looking at what your solutions need to be might be to ask yourself the question ‘what do I want less of this year’.  One of my clients did this and his answer was stress.  When we broke down his stressors, one of his keys ones was that he couldn’t find things and wasted valuable time and energy looking for things.  Part of his solution was to become more organised and put things in place so that a) he didn’t lose things and b) If he did, he had things in place to identify their whereabouts easily. Remember too that there is no success or failure; there is only result. Don’t beat yourself up if the result is not what you planned, just change something and start again.” There is no such thing as a failed goal, merely a badly set goal!  

Step 5 – Be realistic
Many people think that setting a resolution is all that it takes and when they get results that they see as failure, there are two main reasons for this. The first is that they expect to change the habits of a lifetime overnight and the human body and mind does not work like that. The other is that they attempt to do it alone. The help and support of a non-judgmental and uncritical third party is crucial to a good outcome. I often spend the first few coaching sessions getting clients to fully appreciate why they choose what they choose and to examine their commitment to the change. Then I help them to define strategies for creating change with small action steps that will bring them gradually closer to their goals. Achieving solutions begins with setting them correctly and then having support to make them happen in a timescale that the body and mind can and will accept.  

Step 6 – Take action!
Achieving a goal won’t just happen because you set it, you need to take action! You need to create goals that are clear, stretching but achievable, have a time deadline on them and are based around your ‘why’. If you have emotional buy into a goal, then you are more likely to achieve it.  

Step 7 – Celebrating successes no matter how small
When you are highly motivated & focused on goal achievement it can be so easy to slip into a mentality where everything becomes a to-do and tick box exercise. Whilst this is fabulous from a success point of view it doesn’t allow you to stand still and enjoy the moment of success, instead you have already moved on to the next action or goal.  Make sure that you do take time out to reflect on your success, no matter how small, you’ve earned it enjoy it!

New Year ‘Solutions’ are great if they get you thinking about your life. Remember however, you can start work on a new solution at any time. The power of personal change is just too good to be limited to the first few days of the year and it really is possible to keep every ‘resolution’ without fail.

So…what are you wanting to change this year? If you would like some support with finding and creating your ‘solutions’ or to explore your ‘why’ then contact me to arrange your FREE coaching call. Debi@debihaden.co.uk 07799 651675
I’m Debi Haden and I will work with you to overcome any limiting beliefs, silence the mind chatter, create a positive mindset, develop your confidence and achieve things you never thought possible